Unstuffing Ourselves

Today I'm gonna talk about crafts, design, organizing, cooking, decorating, DIY, and homekeeping in general.  My sister has probably just spewed whatever beverage she was drinking all over her computer screen and is now racing to the bathroom for fear of peeing her pants from laughing so hard.

Notice I said I was gonna TALK about that stuff.  I never said I was actually gonna DO it.  I'm really quite capable and I really do do some of that stuff on occasion, but not nearly as much as I used to or as I would like to.  I'm hoping to change that after we move to Houston and in preparation I've subscribed to about 473 blogs covering those topics.  I thought you might be interested in some of the things I've bookmarked for later reference.  Not that I'm procrastinating, you see.  I said I would do this after we've moved and we haven't moved yet so I'm still in the research and development phase.



I like looking at other people's pretty houses and furniture to get ideas for stuff that I can do around my own house.  Some day.  Maybe.  One new source I found is a magazine called Lonny.  It's full of tons of really great designing and decorating ideas, lots of pictures and not very many words (my favorite), but the best part about Lonny is that you can look through the whole magazine online for free.  Then when you see something you like on one of the pages, you click on it and it will take you to the website where you can get one too if you have $1700 to spend on a coat rack.





Pom poms seem to be everywhere these days and they're not just made out of yarn anymore.  I've seen them made from tissue paper, felt, coffee filters, fabric scraps, muffin cups, etc.  My favorite are these little beauties I spotted over at Craftaholics Anonymous.  They're made from old t-shirts cut into strips.  They just look so soft and fluffy, I have to make some.  I'm gonna use some of our (Jayson's) old white t-shirts that really don't need to make the move with us and would probably look great with my urban shabby cottage modern vintage chic decor.

Another crafty project I'm going to tackle in the not too distant future is this perpetual journal from Rhymes With Magic.  I love the basic idea of it but will probably make a few minor changes to her design, one being that cheesy plastic bin she put it in.  She got it for really cheap but you can get not cheesy stuff for really cheap too.  And the magazine pages she used for the dividers are colorful but I think I would prefer using some coordinating scrapbook papers.  That's just how I roll.





This shelf of covered books from Sweetblogchria is also an idea that I like but will modify.  I'm on the lookout for a couple of bookcases since our books are living in a built-in unit that won't be going with us when we move.  I would love to cover all of our books in coordinating papers with pretty matching labels on the spines.  I couldn't even find pictures of what I've got in my head so I guess no one else has been stupid enough to do that.  This picture was the closest one I could find but I guarantee you my books will not be nearly as...uuhh...sweet.

I've seen bookcases where the books are all arranged by color and that's nice but it's overdone and I wanted something a little different.  This picture from A Perfect Gray shows books stacked with the spines toward the back which actually looks kinda cool.  But...I would like to be able to grab the book I'm looking for off the shelf when I need it and this arrangement doesn't provide for any kind of identification.  This is for people who don't actually read their books.  My idea is a lot more work, but it's also more functional and practical.  I think.




I'm not a huge fan of swags but this one at The Shabby Chic Cottage caught my eye.  Maybe I should clarify that.  I'm not a huge fan of swags as in garlands or drapery, but I am a huge fan of SWAG as in Stuff We All Get.  This little swag is made from strips of fabric and ribbon tied around a string of white LED Christmas lights.  I wouldn't use a beach theme for mine, but I can see this with a Christmas theme or even just some pastel colors to go with my pastel house.

Ugly House Photos.com

I am still working hard on trying to love those colors and avoiding a disaster like the picture on the left.  I think I can manage that however, I do sometimes feel like I'm barely one Veg-O-Matic short of the picture on the right.

I'm excited about having more time for some DIY projects after we move and I already have a to-do list for several pieces of our current furniture.  I love looking at this kind of thing online and seeing the before and after shots.  Some of them are amazing like this dresser that I have to admit I would have just left at Goodwill.  But the cute little couple over at Bower Power bought it, fixed it up and ended up with a gorgeous piece of furniture for under $50.

I also like finding quirky or unusual ideas that I can borrow such as this twig chandelier from Funky Junk Interiors.  Jayson usually lets me make all of the decorating decisions but I have a feeling he might have an opinion about this one...which means I'd have to make it and hang it while he's not home.  Not that I would hide it from him or anything, I just think he might be more accepting of the finished product if he didn't have a lot of time to think about it.

I've run across a few recipes lately that look quite delicious but, naturally, don't agree with my current and probably temporary habit of healthy eating.  I thought I'd hold on to them anyway since I'm not about complete treat deprivation, just moderation. Bakerella's Red Velvet Cake Balls seriously make my mouth water.  And I'm pretty sure I would love the Apple Pie Floats from How Does She?.  I really need some of those paper straws.  They make me happy.



My goal for the month of February is go through every single item that we own and do a major clean sweep.  I'm talking everything from the junk drawer to the boxes in the attic.  When Taylor and I go to Houston to visit Jayson, we are there in a house with the bare minimum of furnishings and stuff.  Instead of making the house feel cold and empty, it feels absolutely exhilarating!  I didn't realize how oppressed our stuff was making me feel until I got away from it.  I have stuff in boxes that I haven't even seen in 5 years.  Why am I keeping it??!!  We are definitely going to unstuff ourselves.

I've admitted to having some minor OCD tendencies, but I'm pretty confident that I can keep from getting carried away like this freak lady I read about in Sunset Magazine.  Her family lives in a minimalist home and produces almost no garbage at all.  Ever.  Of any kind. 

She doesn't buy any prepackaged foods, she takes her own jars and canvas bags to the store and loads them up from the bulk bins.

Each family member has a specific number of clothing items and that's it.  She shops at thrift stores twice a year to replace clothes that are stained or outgrown.

The lady, Bea is her name, uses only 4 beauty products since they come in evil non-recyclable packaging.  She orders compostable toothbrushes from Australia and they don't use Q-tips.  I can see giving up paper towels and using only cloth napkins.  But what alternative is there for a Q-tip??  And being a woman, naturally I can't help but wonder what she does once a month when most of us rely heavily on certain disposable products.  I'm sure it's okay to talk about this now since I lost all my male readers after the first sentence.

Seriously, what does she do?  I have a feeling that there are probably non-disposable products out there that can be used for such a situation but that thought grosses me out so badly that I haven't even Googled it.  And I Google everything.

All I can say is more power to 'em.  If it makes them happy to have waxy ears, then so be it.  I guess I just don't love my planet enough to give up Q-tips.

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Last night I went to a bar for the first time in probably 15 years.  I have to say...they haven't changed much.  Granted this one is sort of a throw back type place, and I don't mean that in a cool, CBGB & OMFUG type way.  It really wasn't bad, it was just a bar.

We were celebrating the birthday of one of my (young) friends at Pilot's Pub on Congress.  They said I should meet them upstairs, which I did after only a small anxiety attack.  Fortunately the staircase is just inside the front doors so I didn't have to wander too far into the main bar area.  Not that that's a bad thing, I'm just well aware that I'm, uh, a year or two older than most of the bar patrons in this college town.  It really doesn't bother me, but it seems like every time I make eye contact with someone they get that deer in the headlights look on their face as if I've been sent by their mother to check up on them.

When I got upstairs, it appeared to be nothing more than a long hallway lined with heavy closed doors with electronic keypad locks on them.  I thought, "Oh dear God, what kind of place is this?!"  Then I found a set of double doors that opened into another bar area that wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.  I really half expected to be required to give someone the secret password before they'd let me enter.

Since I don't drink (anymore) I asked for a bottle of water and got a nice cold bottle of Kentwood Springs filtered tap water.  It was $1.50 for this same water that I buy by the case at Winn Dixie for $4.50.  Thank God I didn't ask for what I really wanted which was a Pellegrino.  I can imagine what that conversation would have looked like: "Pellegrino...it's carbonated water...P E L L E...no, club soda won't do...it's like Perrier...P E R R I..." 

Part of the Pilot's Pub thing is "having hot girls serve great drinks in a cool atmosphere".  I got that straight from their website.  All I can say is...don't expect too much.  All of the girls were really sweet but it sort of reminded me of my first trip to Hooter's.  I expected to see what I've seen on television: chicken wings served by porn stars.  I've been to several different Hooter's restaurants now (they really do have good wings) and have yet to see anything remotely resembling a porn star.  Yes, the girls wear the tight, skimpy little outfits but most of them have no business doing so.  If you've got a little belly, that's okay.  I've got a little belly.  But for the love of God and everything holy, don't parade it around in spandex that's 2 sizes too small.

The Pilot's Pub jukebox had the same selection of standard bar music found in jukeboxes 20 years ago so that was good, I knew all the songs.  The only thing that was really different was the dog who came to our table for a visit.  Apparently, it's a pet friendly place.  Odd.

I had a good time with great friends and after two showers I think I've finally managed to get the bar smell out of my hair.

Rainman Buys Groceries and Mouring the Death of My Metabolism

Yesterday was chock full of horrifying self realizations.  I'll start with the one that prompted the other.  After a prolonged illness in which I had high hopes it would make a full recovery, I finally accepted the fact that, indeed, my metabolism is officially dead.

I've always had a cast iron stomach and could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and in the quantities that I wanted without any real consequences.  I know, I was very fortunate and I foolishly took full advantage of that blessing by faithfully indulging in my three favorite food groups: chips, salsa and snack cakes.

Earlier this week after a midnight rendezvous with a bag of Tostitos with lime and a jumbo sized jar of Pace Picante Sauce (New York City??!!), my stomach, or rather my colon, roused me at 4 a.m. and held my full attention until late afternoon.

I was in denial for a couple of days until yesterday when I faced the fact that I have to make some changes to my eating habits.  I've been steadily gaining weight over the past 4 or 5 years but I've basically ignored it, hoping in vain that I would catch a good stomach virus that would take care of it.  Now I see that this trend is the new norm and if I don't do something about it pretty soon, I will have to be buried in a piano box.

I also need to do something about my sedentary lifestyle but I'm putting that one off until after we move to Houston.  I'd hate to foolishly rush into an exercise program only to later regret it.  Ahem.

I've never had to diet before so I consulted the wisdom of a few friends, including my good buddy Google.  This wasn't as helpful as I had hoped because everybody has a different opinion and what worked for one didn't work for another.  Some had great luck with Atkins, others are all about Weight Watchers, one friend did well with Nutrisystem, several have lost weight just by watching what they eat and exercising, etc.  The only one that really caught my attention was a conversation we had about the guy who did the Twinkie Diet.  I could get on board with that.

I've decided I'm going to try the watching what I eat thing first.  Since I have no willpower or self discipline whatsoever, I'm not sure how this is going to work out but I'm giving it a shot.  Once that decision was made, all that was left to do was go to the grocery store to get all of my new healthy foods.

I decided to forgo my neighborhood Winn Dixie and headed for Albertson's instead.  Their prices are higher but their produce is better and I had a feeling I would be buying a lot of it.

Imagine my disappointment when I came upon the greenest bananas I've ever seen.  I like my bananas a little under-ripe but these were so green they almost looked fake.

The other horrifying self-realization thing happened in the check out line of the grocery store and totally caught me by surprise.  As I was taking all of my items out of my cart and placing them on the little conveyor belt thing, I became aware that I had been unconsciously sorting them into groups.  All of the frozen foods were together, the produce was in its own pile, the refrigerated foods were grouped together and the canned goods were neatly arranged on the belt.  Of course, all of this was kept separate from the cleaning products I had picked up as well.

I was stunned by own OCDness! I'm aware that I do have some minor OCD tendencies, but they're not nearly as bad as they used to be and are hardly noticeable.  But this...this was like being slapped in the face by a habitual hand washer.  Right there in the checkout line, between People magazine and the Altoids, I had transformed into Rainman.

I was still trying to process this when I saw the cashier about to put a bottle of lemon juice into a bag with my produce items.  Fortunately I was able to snatch the bottle from his hand and shove a baggie of onions in his face just in time.

We both stared at each other, wide eyed and confused, until we were saved by the bag boy who asked if I wanted my milk in a bag.  Which, by the way, I think is one of the stupidest questions ever.  Why would I not want my milk in a bag?

I continued to assess the severity of my newly discovered mental illness as the now terrified cashier carefully lifted each item off the belt, rang it up, then looked at me for approval before placing it in a bag.

I loaded up my car with a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, low-fat this and light that.








This is the picture I was going to show you as proof of my seriousness about eating healthier.  Isn't it beautiful?  I just love all the colors and textures.

But I decided I should probably show you the real picture since self-deprecating honesty is my milieu.


Baby steps.








By the time I got all of the groceries put away, I was starving.  With so many new choices, it was hard to decide what to try first!

I'm a little embarrassed to show you what I ate for dinner because I'm aware that it might look a little odd.  I have my grandfather (the Lithuanian one, not the Lebanese one) to blame for that.  That man would eat just about anything as long as it hadn't been microwaved.  He said that microwaved foods gave him diarrhea but I think he was just afraid of the microwave since my grandmother was known to sneak him some nuked stuff now and then without any ill effects.

One of Grandpa's favorite "light" meals was to empty a package of Tom's peanuts into a container of cottage cheese, mix it up and sprinkle it with hot sauce.  Gross, am I right?  For a snack, he would sometimes slather pumpernickel bread with sour cream and a little bit of salt.  I have to admit, that's just tasty.  Since it's hardly a meal, I added some tomatoes and cucumbers and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Until 20 minutes later when I was starving again.

Then I dove into my platter of fresh broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and light veggie dip.  That held me over for another 20 minutes.

At this rate, eating healthy will consume my life.  Who has time to fix themselves a light meal every 20 minutes?  I should add that going hungry really isn't an option for me because as soon as my blood sugar drops, I get a migraine.  So basically I can either graze like a cow 24/7 or be strung out on pain pills all the time. 

Maybe I should take up meth.  I've heard it can be very slimming.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

I am frustrated beyond belief!  When we first got the Houston House Jayson accidentally locked himself out one night and the property management company had to call a locksmith to let him in.  It was the first time he'd locked the garage door when he left, only to discover that the key they had given him didn't work in that lock.  It's just one of those little door knob locks like you'd see on a bedroom door.

Anyway, the locksmith came out and let him in and the property management company set up a time for the locksmith to rekey the whole house...which they did and it was all peachy.

Or it was until yesterday when we got a bill from the property management company wanting us to pay the $97 lock out charge from the locksmith.

The first time I went to the property management company to sign the lease, Jayson apologized to them in advance for whatever I was about to say.  I had a list of things they needed to take care of and I intended to politely share my list, that's all.  I'm never mean to anyone unless they're mean to me first.

The leasing gal was really nice and I very sweetly gave her my list and we chatted and we laughed and everything was fine.  Jayson told her that she got off easy this time and was spared the Wrath of Shannon.  Whatever.  I'm actually very non-confrontational and easy to get along with but when the time comes to stand up and be outspoken, I can do that too. 

Evidently my husband thinks that at those times I'm a bitch on wheels.  Okay fine, at times I probably am.  But those times are few and far between.  He even seems a little embarrassed by this since he warned the gal in advance that things could get ugly. 

Fast forward a couple of weeks to yesterday when we get this bill to pay the locksmith to come out and open the door for which the leasing company FAILED to give us keys. 

Now what does Jayson say?  "We shouldn't have to pay this since it wasn't our fault I got locked out.  Uh, honey...will you call the property management place and take care of this?"

Oh sure.  Now he's glad that I'm not afraid to suit up, show up, and get the job done while he sits in the corner like Gumby, all spineless so that everyone will love him.  Geez Louise.

Actually, none of that is the frustrating part.  We've been married for 147 years so I know that we each have different strengths and weaknesses, it really doesn't bother me.  What bothers me is stupid people.  I really hate to call anyone stupid since I sometimes have more than my share of random stupidity.  The difference is...I'm teachable.  Show me why I'm stupid so that I can learn from my mistake and hopefully not do it again.

I called the property management company and explained to them that the key we were given did not work in all the locks and we didn't realize this until Jayson got locked out.  Since this was not our mistake, I didn't feel like we should have to pay the bill for it.

The property management gal...let's call her Dense Debbie...said that Jayson had locked the keyless deadbolt (or inside deadbolt) on the garage door and that's why he couldn't get back in.  If he had not locked the keyless deadbolt he would have been able to get in, therefore it was our fault.

All of the doors in the house have an inside deadbolt, which the leasing gal kept calling a keyless deadbolt...the kind where you lock it from the inside but you can't unlock it (or lock it) from the outside.  The lock doesn't show on the outside of the door so no one even knows it's there.  The doors also have regular dead bolts where you can lock and unlock them from either inside or outside the house.

Dense Debbie insisted that the keyless deadbolt was locked on the garage door and that's why Jayson couldn't get in.  Our conversation went something like this:

DD: If he hadn't locked the keyless deadbolt, he would have been able to get back in.

Me: He didn't lock the keyless deadbolt.  The key didn't work in the knob which he didn't know until that night.

DD: Then how had he been getting in and out of the house?

Me: Through the front door.  This was the first time he'd used the garage door.

DD: Then he should have gone back in the front door.

Me: He couldn't.  He locked the keyless deadbolt before he left then went out the garage door.

DD: Then he shouldn't have locked the keyless deadbolt on the garage door before he left.

Me: He didn't.  He locked the keyless deadbolt on the front and back doors, not the garage door.  That's the door he left through and it's not possible to lock a keyless deadbolt from the outside.

DD: No, he locked it before he left the house.

Me: It's not possible to turn a deadbolt before you leave the house!  It will hit the door jamb and you won't be able to shut the door. 

DD: Hang on, let me check my notes. ... The locksmith said the keyless deadbolt was not locked on the front door so he should have been able to get in that door.

Me: The keyless deadbolt WAS locked on the front door, that's why he couldn't get in.  The locksmith let him in the garage door.  That's the one where the deadbolt was not locked and the one his key didn't work in.

DD: Hang on, let me check on this. ... I'll have to look into this further, can I call you back?

Me: Sure.

Never heard back from her.  Not sending a check.

Random Conversatioins

I've been toying with the idea of participating in NaBloPoMo where you commit to writing a blog post every day for a month.  Like NaNoWriMo where you write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, it's something that's done just for fun and your own personal growth.  There's no prize or real incentive, other than whatever you make up for yourself.

Since we're in the middle of this 6 month long project of relocating to Houston, this would not be a good time for me to try this.  So instead, I'm going to commit to trying to think about maybe considering to post more often.  I'll just think of it as NaBloPoMo training.

Since content is completely irrelevant, I have the freedom to drone on about anything that strikes my fancy.  As If I don't do that already.  At the moment, the only thing that comes to mind are some recent conversations I've had.
______________________________________________________________________________________________

A couple of weeks ago on one of those rare occasions when I visit the job I barely still have, a few of us were talking about Christmas shopping which naturally progresses into a conversation about homicidal road rage. 

My pastor/boss said he rarely gets road rage.  He's easy going, go with the flow, live and let live when it comes to his driving experience.  I'm usually the same way except for when stupid people do stupid stuff that makes me want to shoot them.

Pastor/boss said the only time he gets frustrated in traffic is when someone pulls into the middle of the intersection and gets stuck there when the light changes, blocking your ability to move at all even though the green light is now yours.  To me, this is a justifiable homicide situation that makes me want to walk over to stupid guy's window and shoot him in the head.

Pastor/boss, being the voice of reason that he is, disagreed with my shoot now, ask questions later method.  He said he would prefer to walk over to Stupid Intersection Blocker's car and share the gospel with him. Pastor/boss would tell him about the saving grace of Jesus and then after Stupid Intersection Blocker invited Christ into his heart...then he would shoot him.  That sounded reasonable to me.
______________________________________________________________________________________________

Last night as we were quietly ringing in the new year at home, Jayson asked me if there was someone we needed to call. 

"Someone's birthday is at midnight, I just can't remember who.  Who is it that we're supposed to call and wish happy birthday?" he asked.

"It's Gida," I said.  Gida is the Arabic word for Grandfather.  "Gida is a New Year's baby".

Jayson said, "Oh."  There wasn't much more he could say since Gida died 20 years ago.
______________________________________________________________________________________________

This afternoon we were watching television and out of the blue Jayson said, "Your last meal...what is it and why?"

As I was carefully considering what I might like to have as my last meal on this earth, Taylor quickly replied, "Reeses Puffs...because it's all we had in the house."

Bless her heart.