It puts the chemicals on its floor

The Houston House is now clean and cootie free.  It took 6 women almost 7 hours to clean the house.  Suddenly apartments aren't looking so bad after all.  Of course this was one of those detailed cleanings that most normal people don't do more than once a year...if ever. 

I have to admit they did a pretty good job once I let them know what I was expecting.  They cleaned behind every potty, on top of every door jamb, and that baseboard under the kitchen cabinets. 

The lady cleaning the tile floors was frustrated at the condition of the grout so I let her use my brand new grout brush that I had just picked up at The Container Store.  She was on her hands and knees with a gallon of bleach and some Comet and I knew we were best friends.

While looking for a cleaning service I found several advertising that they only use green cleaning products that are healthy and safe for the environment.  I like green stuff, I like stuff being safe and good for the environment.  But when it comes to cleaning, I want chemicals.  I want bleach and ammonia and stuff that if you accidentally mix the two together and breathe it, you will grow a third nipple.  The floor lady had to open the front doors for some air.  That's what I'm talking about.  She fell in love with my grout brush and I fell in love with her so I gave it to her.

The cleaning ladies cleaned the insides of all the windows and now the window crew is here cleaning the outsides.  They're taking off the screens and washing them too.  It's pouring down rain right now and I'm a little concerned about them climbing ladders in the lightening, but they seem to have a rhythm going that I would hate to disturb.

My plan for today was to let the window washers inside to clean the one window in the foyer that the cleaning ladies couldn't reach, then Taylor and I would pack up and head back to Louisiana.  The guys showed up an hour before they were supposed to and I literally had to drag myself out of bed to let them in.  That means I haven't showered.  If you'll notice my shower and its proximity to a very large window with no blind, I don't see a shower happening any time soon.  In fact, I don't see peeing happening any time soon either.  

One of the guys asked if I could open the garage door so he could do the inside of that window since the cleaning ladies didn't get to it yesterday.  I had no idea there was a window in the garage.  That makes our window count 42 which is great if you want a lot of light but not so great if you're the one who has to clean them.

Since I felt like a mouse trapped in a glass box with people peering in at me from all sides, I distracted myself by finishing up the shelf paper in the kitchen and installing this handy dandy pull down spice rack.  It makes me happy.


Besides the windows, another good thing/bad thing about the new house is the stairs.  Having two stories is nice since it gives us extra space and separates our living areas from the bedrooms, but the stairs have quickly become the proverbial bummer.  This could be due in part to my proverbial fat ass.  When I'm upstairs, whatever I need will be downstairs and when I'm downstairs, whatever I need will be upstairs. 

The way I look at it there are 2 possible solutions for this problem.  One is to get off my lazy butt and get some exercise so the stairs won't seem like such a chore.  The other solution would be to buy two of everything and keep one upstairs and one down.  Obviously I am on the lookout for buy one get one free sales.

The other day I was whining to Taylor about the stair situation and she pretended to be sympathetic but since she weighs 4 pounds she can't possibly relate to what I'm going through.  I told her I thought we needed some kind of pulley system for conveniently transporting things from one level to the other.  She suggested a dumbwaiter but since we're renting that really isn't an option.  I told her I was thinking of something more along the lines of a basket with ropes that we could easily raise and lower.

Taylor just stared at me with that glassy eyed gaze of hers that usually means she has no idea what I'm talking about.  I continued to try to explain it to her but she interrupted and said in a creepy monotone voice, "It puts the lotion on its skin."

Yes!  Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about!  A basket like the killer lowered into the pit on The Silence of The Lambs!  I love it when we connect on such a personal level like that.