Thursday, September 22, 2011

Animals Talking in All Caps

I love animals. In fact, just about the only thing I love more than animals is Animals Talking in All Caps. Here are a few of my favorites:

HEY MICKEY, YOU’RE SO FINE. YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND.
HEY MICKEY!
*CLAP  CLAP*
HEY MICKEY!


YOU WANTED A DIVORCE, CARLA, YOU GOT A DIVORCE.

YOU WANTED THE CAR YOU GOT THE CAR.

THE KIDS HAVE CLOTHES AND I LIVE IN A MOTEL 6. GET OFF MY BACK.


IT’S LIKE, I WANT TO SMASH THE SYSTEM BUT I BUY MY SHOES AT THE MALL, MAN.

I SMOKE MEDICAL GRADE KUSH.

I AM WHAT I HATE, YOU KNOW?


YOU SEE THAT, DONALD? THAT’S  A HERD OF ANTELOPE. WE’RE GOING TO EAT THEM.
DO YOU KNOW WHY WE’RE GOING TO EAT THEM?


BECAUSE WE’RE HUNGRY?

NO, BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T GO TO COLLEGE. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T GO TO COLLEGE. YOU DIE SCREAMING IN A FIELD.

NOW LET’S EAT. AFTER THAT YOU’RE GOING TO FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK.


PAUL, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT LOU? YOU KILLED LOU?

HE WAS 27 YEARS OLD AND COULDN’T FIGURE OUT THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN “YOUR” AND “YOU’RE” STEVE!

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? IT HAD TO BE DONE!


WORST.

HANGOVER.

EVER.


I WAS TRYING TO REENACT THE ‘SINGLE LADIES’ VIDEO FOR MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.

I DON’T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, OKAY? IT’S EMBARRASSING.

LET’S JUST SAY BEYONCE IS A PROFESSIONAL.


I SAID I HAVE A HEADACHE, CARL. I’M NOT IN THE MOOD.

I SWEAR TO GOD YOU’RE LIKE A TEENAGER SOMETIMES.


HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE WEST HOLLYWOOD PRIDE PARADE!

IT’S A SCORCHER OUT HERE SO I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR SUNSCREEN. FLOATS AND DANCERS SHOULD PASS THIS POINT AT ABOUT 12:30 SO KEEP YOUR CAMERAS READY
AND DON’T FORGET TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT.

PUBLIC RESTROOMS ARE TWO BLOCKS NORTH IF YOU’VE HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO DRINK
OR MET SOMEONE YOU LIKE.

KIDDING! BUT NOT REALLY.

I want to be best friends with the person who captions these. Call me.

3 comments:

Impasse Living Solutions, Ltd. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Justin said...

We can totally be friends. Hi, I'm Justin.

Shannon Green said...

Awesome cuz I already told everyone we hang out together. In all caps.