Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Just what the doctor ordered.

I could complain all day along about the failures of my parents but I'm here and I'm moderately sane so I figure that somewhere along the line someone must have done something right.

However, as they're getting older and their bodies are starting to fail them, I think my parents are going to regret not giving me that compassion thing that most people have. It's not entirely their fault since you can't give someone something you don't have but they might end up wishing they had outsourced that one.

Just so we're clear, I am not completely heartless. I can be brought to tears quite easily especially when it comes to children. However, a 65 year old woman convinced she's going to die because she had a tooth pulled just brings out the drill sergeant in me.

Lest you think I am making this up, I will provide proof of what my sister and I already have to deal with. Since she lives in the same town with my parents, she has my frustration multiplied by 100. I feel bad about that but there's not much I can do other than encourage her to stay medicated.

Here is yesterday's text message from my mother:


Bless her heart, she thinks she is dying. Here is my reassuring response to her:


Being the loving, dutiful daughter I am I checked on her again today and here is our exchange:


Notice that I asked her if she survived and her response was, "No...".

Mom gets regular steroid infusions for a joint disease she has and that causes her to be hungry all the time so I know she's miserable. Here is what Dr. Shannon prescribed for Mom:


You'll be glad to know that I just heard back from her and she discovered that milkshakes go down quite nicely so here's her plan for the rest of the day:


Drink ice cream, take pills and chill. Just what the Dr. ordered. Almost as good as this prescription:

4 comments:

Betsy said...

I am so glad that Mayn was able to take care of her ice cream and tea needs before having the audacity to run off on her "vacation".
Feel for you both!!!!

Kathy F. said...

So sorry for your misery, but this is hilarious, Shannon! I will forward this on to another friend with the same issues.

SkylersDad said...

You should report that her account has been hacked, since she didn't survive and all...

Shannon Green said...

At least she's somewhat entertaining!