Sunday, September 18, 2011

A Deer in The Headlights

I am so irritated that I feel the need to publicly vent. No, wait. This may be a full-on rant. When we first moved to Houston one of my top priorities was to find a pharmacy because the safety of my family depends upon me staying heavily medicated. I normally prefer a small mom & pop shop but since those are becoming more scarce I opted to go with one of the nearby chain pharmacies.

Just a couple of blocks from my house is a CVS and a Walgreen's, located directly across the street from each other as they often are. I asked 600 of my closest and most trusted friends (on Facebook) which of the two they preferred and most of them said Walgreen's. Both of the pharmacies offer the same services and convenience, and price really isn't an issue since we have insurance. I visited both stores and decided to go against my friends' advice and use CVS since the Walgreen's felt too cramped and oppressive for some reason.

I've been very happy with CVS so far, especially with their online prescription management and automatic refills. Plus it's a good place to use coupons when stuff is on sale and they give you those Extra Care Bucks which are like money. We were getting along great!

Until yesterday. Well, let me back up. Even though finding a pharmacy in our city was a top priority, I've been dragging my feet on finding a doctor. I hate training a new doctor. I want them to do the regular blood work that I need, refill my prescriptions as needed and let me know if new & better options become available. I want them to remind me when I need a mammogram but not nag me about it (same with the pap smear) and they have to have a sense of humor without being creepy. I prefer a female doctor but a male one would be okay as long as he was gay.

Anyway, my doctor in Lafayette has been approving my prescription refills but yesterday she said this was the last time cuz I needed to find me a regular doctor here. And she's absolutely right. I was okay with that until she told me they no longer make the Lodrane I take for my allergies so my new doctor that I don't have yet will have to discuss alternatives with me. That's all fine and dandy for when I get that new doctor but in the mean time I can't breathe without Lodrane. I take one that has a low, pediatric dose of decongestant in it since I have high blood pressure which decongestants will raise. This one works great to keep my chronically congested nose clear without raising my blood pressure or making me drowsy. I love Lodrane.

When I went to CVS to pick up my other prescriptions I asked to talk to the pharmacist. This was an older man whom I'd never seen before, it's usually an Asian woman. I told him that I had been taking Lodrane for my allergies and asked if he knew of something over the counter that would be similar.

The pharmacist look directly at my chest and started rattling off a list of all the over the counter antihistamines. He didn't look at my face again until I cut him off to explain that I need a decongestant but I have high blood pressure so that's why I was taking Lodrane.

After a quick glance at my face, he then resumed his conversation with my chest.

Okay, I'm 45 years old. My "chests" are not even really on my chest anymore. In fact, I thought they were covered by the waist-high counter I was standing at but apparently not. I don't wear low cut revealing clothes. I didn't even wear them when I had something worth revealing! I also don't have huge "chests" but I do have them and sometimes they are noticeable on those rare occasions when I wear something other than a t-shirt that's 2 sizes too big.

The pharmacists went on to tell my chest that I shouldn't be taking decongestants if I have high blood pressure. Yeah, yeah I know this and technically I'm not taking the decongestant for allergies but for vasomotor rhinitis which is a little different but is treated the same. I was so irritated with him that I didn't even feel like he deserved an explanation so I just told him that I have to have a mild decongestant every day and asked again if there was something he could recommend.

He recommended, to my chest, that I continue to take the Lodrane my doctor prescribed. I told the Pharmacy Perv that my doctor said that Lodrane was no longer available. Pharmacy Perv gave my chest a perplexed look and told it that he wasn't aware of that. Then he went to his shelves to look for Lodrane, then checked the computer and asked a pharmacy tech who told him that it was taken off the market.

Pharmacy Perv then explained to my chest that he hadn't been notified about Lodrane being taken off the market. The pharmacy had been notified because the the tech knew right away what had happened, but apparently Pharmacy Perv did not receive is own personal notification from the drug manufacturer. He even appeared to be a little miffed at this oversight.

So, for the third time I asked the top of Pharmacy Perv's head if he could recommend an over the counter allergy medication that contained a low dose decongestant. I just needed something to take until I could see a doctor to get a different prescription. And again, he told my chest that decongestants will raise my blood pressure and said that I could take antihistamines such as Zyrtec, Claritin or Allegra. Which will do me absolutely no good whatsoever.

I blatantly rolled my eyes at Pharmacy Perv knowing he wouldn't even realize it since he'd only glanced at them once. I mumbled a very insincere "thank you" and in response he nodded at my chest.

Seriously?? Do I really still have to deal with this crap at my age??! Do you guys never outgrow this kind of immaturity? Do you not realize that our breasts are not impressed by your ability to maintain eye contact with them? Do you not understand that they don't speak English and you're wasting your time talking to them? Were you not paying attention when your Dads should have taught you to cop a glance when we're distracted, not when we're looking right at you? It was all I could do not to reach out and whack that 60+ year old man on the side of the head and say, "Hey you little perv, grow up!"

I get why you do it, really I do. God made men very sensitive to visual stimulation in order to help insure the procreation of our species. It's important. At the right time, in the right place and with the right person it can be very flattering. This incident met none of those criteria.

Let me give the guys out there a word of advice. Women you've never met before are not impressed or flattered when you notice our chests. If you want us to respect you, look us in the eye and listen to what we're saying no matter how boring it may be.

If you claim that your roaming eyes are just a subconscious "guy thing" and you don't even realize you're doing it, then we'll know you are an immature, self-absorbed idiot with no self control and completely unworthy of our respect. And when we brush you off and send you on your way we will check out your butt as you go. Cuz that's what we do.


Debbie said...

aaaahhhh...all men are the same lol. I've been known to interrupt in mid sentence and say "excuse me, I do believe my face is a little bit further up, and I would appreciate it if you stop looking at my breasts." Let me tell ya, they get right to the point then so they can go hide in a corner because I've called them out on it.

Shannon Green said...

I guess I should call them out more, that might help. Although in this situation I was tempted to stare open mouthed at the top of his balding head so he'd know how I felt. :)

donnaj said...

I know that guy. He has a neck condition and can't lift his head all the way up-hence why he looked at your chest.

Shannon Green said...

Oh dang that's funny, Donna! I might be able to conjure up some sympathy for him if his neck was broken in half and his head was dangling there by a thread. But not till then :)