Art Car Dreams

A couple of weeks ago I scored a huge box of lace and trim from eBay. In that box was this lovely pompom trim:

The color in the picture is funky, it's actually turquoise. What in the heck am I going to do with THAT? And I have yards and yards and yards of it. As I was contemplating how I might possibly use such a hideous thing, I realized I was staring out my front window, looking at the car that's been parked at the curb exactly half way between our house and our neighbor's house for the past two weeks.

HHmmm. I thought this trim might actually look nice on an art car. I found myself wishing someone had a spare El Camino they would be willing to let me have my way with. I would cover the interior with various patterns of faux fur then trim it out with these classy turquoise pompoms. Of course the look wouldn't be complete without pink fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror. How fun would that be?

I wondered why the car had been parked there so long. No one has touched it as far as I know. I just assumed it belonged to the neighbor but what if he just assumed it belonged to us? Could it be abandoned? That thought hadn't occurred to me before because this is not the kind of neighborhood where one would expect to find an abandoned Bonneville. Not that it's an upscale neighborhood or anything, it's just suburbanly boring.

I did what anyone would do if they happened upon an abandoned car. I looked in the windows to check for dead bodies and I sniffed around the trunk for any signs of decomposition. I used to watch Forensic Files all the time so I know stuff.

I deemed it a corpse-free Bonneville then glanced over at the neighbor's house to see if he was home so I could ask him if the car belonged to him. Alas, he was still at work.

I started to imagine what would happen if the car was abandoned. I'm sure I could have it towed away but what if the owner left it here because he didn't want it anymore? I can't imagine anyone abandoning a car that still runs but I have to assume it still runs because it didn't get here by itself, right? I wondered if the owner would just sign it over to me.

I could have my very own art car. Finally! And I could probably work on it right there at the curb. It's been there a couple of weeks already so it obviously doesn't bother my neighbor and I've barely paid any attention to it until today. I could invite my friends over (just as soon as I make some) to help with the transformation and we could all ride in it in the next art car parade. I can just picture it.

The car would be amazing. Not kitschy or tacky like most art cars, but classy and edgy with just a touch of whimsy. Something along the lines of Magnolia Pearl's vintage Airstream they pull behind their vintage Rolls Royce. I don't have an Airstream or a Rolls Royce but I might have a Bonneville, dang it, and I can glue nice stuff on it too.

I could cut the top off to make it a convertible. I don't know how to do that but I'm sure I could Google it. I would use all the materials that are so popular right now: lots of muslin, old books, dictionary pages, rhinestone brooches out the wazoo, vintage lace (got that covered), jute, and some baker's twine for good measure. It will look like Etsy threw up on my car and it will be fabulous.

I'm gonna be so pissed if that's my neighbor's car.