Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Most Bestest Church Staff Ever

A few months ago we switched the church website over to a Blogger site since it's so much easier to update than the nightmare we were using. We have a page on our new site (Get to Know Us) where we've listed all the staff positions and contact info. I asked everyone to send me a picture of themselves to put on that page because people who are looking for a church sometimes like to see if the staff looks at least semi-normal. Or maybe that's just me. The first thing I do when I go to another church's website is check out their staff page to see what everyone looks like. If they look all perfect like they're carved out of cream cheese, I'm not going there.

I have had zero response to my request for pictures so that means it's up to me. God help them all. I've carefully chosen some pictures of our staff from my own photo archives, their Facebook pages, and the few websites that popped up during my Google search and managed to make it through our filters. Before putting them on the official website, I thought I would test drive them here.

I would love to know what you would think if you saw these pictures on a church website. Do the people look friendly? Do they look approachable and "real"? Would you visit a church with a staff like this? Have you seen any of these people on America's Most Wanted? You know...basic stuff like that.

Dennis Malcolm
Senior Pastor

This is what Dennis looks like every Monday morning.

Marti Thomas
Executive Pastor

Marti doesn't let her position on the staff prevent her from expressing her girlish femininity.

Tim Osborne
Mission/Men/Small Groups Pastor

Tim carries a ladder with him everywhere he goes because it makes him feel closer to God.

Joel Sprayberry
Worship Arts Leader

Well, he's an artist. Whaddya gonna do?

Matt Adams
Youth and Children's Pastor

He deals with high school and middle school kids all day every day.  You have to be a little "off" to do that.

Barbara Quebedeaux
Office Administrator

It's a little known fact that there were originally 4 girls in the Brady Bunch. Barbara was the oldest sister, Beatrice, who secretly eloped with Richie Cunningham's older brother who we also never saw.

Shannon Green
Arts & Communications Administrator

I'm actually the most authentic one on staff.

Courtney Tribe
Children's Creative Assistant

Although we don't allow smoking in the office, Courtney does enjoy a stogie on her personal time. And as you can see, we are facial hair friendly.

Sadly, this is only a portion of our staff. I was not able to get pictures of our other staff members, Susan Smith, Grace Guidry, Nancy Hocutt and Keri Culotta because their websites were blocked by our ultra Christian appropriateness filters. That's the rumor I'm going to start if they don't send me pictures.

Even though I didn't request pictures from them, I ran across a few pictures of our elders that I thought the general public might like to see. These are the spiritual leaders of our church, the men who meet and pray regularly to tackle all the big decisions.

Senior pastor Dennis Malcolm is also on the elder board at Trinity. Few people know that the time he spent as one of the Rockettes is how he paid for seminary.

As a respected elder here at Trinity, you can see that Bob Kulbeth is brimming with intelligence, decisiveness, and the ability to come up with solutions for complex churchy problems.

Rusty Dunn has been instrumental in helping to promote many ministries here at trinity, including those for men and small groups. Men of all ages seek him out for his mentoring abilities.

Mark Thomas (who insists on being called Hoss) is married to our executive pastor Marti Thomas. Don't they make a cute couple? It's a good thing Mark and Marti are so down to earth, otherwise people would be jealous of their fashion sense.

So that's our highly respected, uber Christian staff, men and women of God who are modeling what it means to be a follower of Jesus. I just feel so fortunate to be able to surround myself with their wisdom on a daily basis. I feel extra fortunate when their wisdom is tied up in meetings all day which has allowed me to pay this unsupervised tribute to them. Hallelujah.


Mark said...

I have a thing for Librarians and that Executive Pastor looks hot! (She also vaguely resembles my wife, too. Hummmm....)

michellelaf said...

Shannon, you are gonna get it one of these days. A never ending group hug, all your pencil points cut off, a moratorium on in office drawing, or they'll assign you a task and you'll have to stay in the lines...but you can be sure your time is comin'. I'll be there to photo-document the event, as a kindness to you, of course!

Shannon Green said...

I have so many neurotic quirks that I'm a painfully easy target. I appreciate your offer to document the event cuz you know I'd do the same for you. We just love each other that way.

Mayn said...

Dennis looks like a cast memeber of West Coast Choppers. Marti looks so dang wholesome!! Joel looks like Joel.