Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Slacker Sacker Girl Offs Unsuspecting Cheetos

Reason #8,942 why I despise grocery shopping: Ditzy 14-year-old-too-bored-with-her-job-to-care Slacker Sacker Girl ran out of room in my cart and ended up making a wobbly pyramid out of my grocery sacks because she failed to utilize that precious cargo space under the seat when she so carelessly tossed the bags into the cart without arranging them so they fit like puzzle pieces...which she would have been trained to do had she been working at Shannon's instead of Kroger.

As I was carefully wheeling my teetering cart through the parking lot, I hit a small bump which caused my bag of Cheetos to slip out of the grocery sack and hit the ground where I stared in open-mouthed horror as I helplessly watched my inertia-driven grocery cart roll over the middle of what was to have been my afternoon snack.

As I loaded my surviving groceries into the car I fantasized about running into the store with my dead Cheetos and throwing them at Slacker Sacker Girl as I screamed with tears running down my face, "YOU DID THIS!!!" with a shaky pointing finger and everything.

But the temperature inside my car was 95 degrees and I had a half gallon of Blue Bell Caramel Turtle Fudge ice cream that was counting on me to get it home before I ended up having to mourn it too. I just couldn't sacrifice one delightful snack for another so I drove home without avenging my precious Cheetos. I'm just THAT mature.

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