Thursday, May 21, 2015

Four on The Pelvic Floor

Sometimes I run across stuff on the internet that I just can't ignore. I know I should ignore it but I just don't have the strength.

Today I was browsing through the opportunities on a couple of the sponsorship websites I belong to. These sites match brands with influencers. In other words, they pimp out social media addicts such as myself. They're legit, I've actually done a couple of promotional videos through them but it's not my main focus so I don't do them often.

The offer that caught my eye today is from a company called Intimina. They are offering $100-$250 through Famebit for a YouTube review of their product. The product is called the Laselle Exercise Routine. It's not a craft product nor is it something that I think my viewers would be interested in so I won't be doing a video review.

However, I can certainly do a review here on my blog and I will even do it for free. You're welcome, Intimina.

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Does your pelvic floor have loose boards or creaky joists? Have I got a solution for you! Introducing the Laselle Exercise Routine by Intimina.
With the Laselle Routine, a 3 pack that gives you the full benefits of Laselle Exercisers in one simple package, you can take your pelvic floor training to new heights.

I didn't realize there was a chance that my pelvic floor training could reach a plateau. Who knew?!
Easy-to-use, discreet and completely body-safe, the Laselle Routine will help you to reach the peak of your intimate health. 
Nudge, nudge...wink, wink.

Are you still wondering just exactly what this is? Let me explain:

This complete workout set includes 3 exercisers of varying weights that can be used individually or combined to effectively build strength and tone. Worn internally, the spherical shaped weight provides a solid object to flex your muscles around and emits subtle vibrations during movement to confirm that it is correctly placed.

It's not what you're thinking. This is legitimate exercise equipment to help tone your floppy Kegels. The vibrations are subtle and necessary to confirm proper placement. If you're concerned that the vibration might be TOO subtle you could always just attach your exerciser to one of these:

That would leave no doubt as to your exerciser's placement. And you would likely finish your routine much quicker.


Are you wondering exactly how this works? I will tell you and then I will demonstrate for you.

Laselle™ Exercisers allow you to start with a weight that best suits your current level of strength and progress from there.
• Light Resistance (28g/1oz) is ideal for women who have a weaker pelvic floor or for beginners.
• Moderate Resistance (38g/1.3oz) is perfect for those experienced in weight-free exercising.

• Higher Resistance (48g/1.7oz) is best for women experienced in weighted exercising for the most advanced training.

Sounds reasonable. Let's give this a try. Here's me doing my first set with the Light Resistance Exercisers.

Here's me doing my second set with the Moderate Resistance Exercisers.

Here's me doing my third set with the Higher Resistance Exercisers.

Clearly I'm in better shape than I thought. Fortunately the Laselle Exercise Routine is fully customizable, even for those of us who clearly qualify for the Kegel Olympics.

 With this complete workout set you have the option to either use your exercisers individually or combined to effectively build pelvic floor strength and tone.

Here's me doing my first set with my exercisers linked together.

It took some trial and error but I was finally able to get some results after linking my exercisers together in a configuration that resembled a cluster of grapes.

Since my pelvic floor has never felt better, I want to help you get yours toned and creak-free too. I'm all about cheaper alternatives so here is my solution for a DIY Laselle Exercise Routine. My system is better because it has 4 different levels, not just 3. That gives you more options for a more complete pelvic floor workout. I call it Four on The Pelvic Floor. Here's what you get in the complete set:

For the Beginner. Don't forget to breathe.
Intermediate Level 1 includes a charging station for your not at all inappropriate subtle placement confirmation vibration.

Intermediate Level 2 can even be used outdoors. Who's gonna know, right?
This is for advanced exercisers only. Clearly this girl is an amateur.
Genius, right?! I know. After my routine I was able to unlink my exercisers then neatly weave each cord into an intricate Celtic knot before removing them. Thanks Intimina!


Elsa said...

Hilarious! I would laugh more heartily were I not having surgery
in June to have some repair work on
said pelvic floor. All I can say is
Women, especially you younger women,
do those Kegels faithfully NOW.

Rossie said...

You are so funny!

Shannon Green said...

Elsa is your bladder falling out? Mine is. Fortunately it's MY bladder which means it's procrastinating so we (me and my doctor) are just keeping an eye on it for now.

Rossie, I'm so glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate you taking the time to stop by and read!

Altered Art and Angels said...

OMG, I haven't laughed so much in years, your pics were amazing, luv ya! June x

Gerti - Murphy's Mom said...

You killed me! When I saw that big blue ball I laughed out loud and scared my cat!

Cheryl Johnson said...

Oh Shannon, I am still laughing uncontrollably! I can't even... Write. Still laughing! Oh God, thank you, I needed a good out of control, "brought the husband out to see what was going on" laugh. I will take your set of 4 on the Floor and share it with my friends! Still laughing!

Shannon Green said...

So glad y'all got as big a kick out of it as I did! Thanks for taking the time to read :)