Breaking Bad Lost Mad Men

What can I say? It was the holidays, I got busy and forgot to blog. I could get caught up and say everything I want to in one big super long post that no one, including me, will ever read...or I can spew little bits of stream of consciousness at you whenever I happen to cough them up.

Paints a purty word picture, don't it?

I choose the latter.

I am supposed to be hauling myself downtown to drop off our rent check but I figure if I stall for about another hour I can hit rush hour traffic on the way there AND on the way back, turning a one hour errand into three hours which should be just about enough time to finish my audio book "Explosive Eighteen". I will admit to being a Stephanie Plum fan but I read the books for the mystery, not the romance. And fat free ice cream tastes just as good as the regular stuff.

So I don't really watch TV, right? I have nothing against TV, I just don't have the attention span it takes to commit to a series and there's rarely anything good on. We've watched just about all the movies on the Netflix streaming thing, so a few months ago we moved to TV shows. Jayson and I watched the entire "Lost series". I realize we are probably the only people with indoor plumbing who haven't seen the show but again...I'm not good with series-es because I can't remember to watch them every week. If I do happen to remember, I get easily distracted, miss important information, lose track of the plot, then give up and go craft something.

"Lost" was really good. I'd watch it again. All 6 years of it. It can be done over the span of a couple of weeks if you're really committed. I like shows with the good vs. evil premise and with characters who surprise you. You were never quite sure which side Benjamin Linus and John Locke were on. You were also never quite sure what in the heck was going on. The island wasn't really explained until something like the third from the last episode of the whole series. I liked that. It wasn't easy to figure out. It was also somewhat of a letdown because it wasn't nearly as awesome as I had imagined but then again, I can imagine pretty darn good.

I also like that "Lost" was nonlinear. It started at the beginning but it jumped around a lot to give you the back stories of the main characters. It had foreshadowing, back stories, and even a parallel thing happening but still managed to make sense. That's good writing. And I always get excited when characters or story lines intersect unexpectedly like in "2 Days in The Valley" or "Pulp Fiction".

One of my favorite movies ever is "Memento" which is not only nonlinear, it is chronologically reversed. Lots of movies start at the end the go back to the beginning and work their way to the end again. That's old hat. But "Memento" starts at the end and works its way back to the beginning. That's some genius writing right there. And besides, I practically live that guy's life with the memory loss thing.

"Breaking Bad" is some of the best TV ever. The writing and the directing are amazing. I'm not sure if this is what the writers intended, but it makes me want to cook meth. Am I the only one? Not that it glorifies the life of drug dealers or anything, but it shows this average guy doing something so completely unexpected and out of character. It's frightening but exciting. And illegal but still...

I'm convinced that I could cook some good meth. And the drug dealers would like me because I would be nice to them and people usually treat you the same way you treat them. And I could probably make even more money than Walter White because he obviously doesn't know a thing about marketing. Have you seen those awful plain plastic bags he uses for his product? Atrocious! My meth would be delivered in a lovely handmade gift bag with a matching card thanking the buyer for their purchase. I would also have a frequent shopper's card that would get punched with every pound purchased. After every 10 pounds they buyer would get a coupon worth 25% off their next purchase. That's how you keep your customers happy. It's all about marketing.

And all of my deals or transactions or whatever they're called would take place at Starbuck's because everyone in there is too self absorbed to notice what's going on around them. It has to be a public place so I don't end up in a car crusher at the junk yard.  I hate it when my hair goes flat. See how street smart I am?

I could totally do this and no one would suspect. Plus I've seen enough of the show to know some of the ingredients that I would need and I already have them on hand. All you need is some sinus pills (got tons of those), acetone (I buy the all-acetone nail polish remover), some matches, fertilizer and chili powder. I'm sure I can get all those beakers and stuff at American Science and Surplus. I'm all set.

Right now I'm on the 4th season of Mad Men and I have to say that I'm a little disappointed in this one...especially after all the hype I've heard. The set design, costumes, props and pop culture references from the 60s are fantastic. I was born in the 60s so I didn't really experience it but when I look at family photos they look just like the set of Mad Men. Well...except for the whole Madison Avenue thing. Every time I see a pregnant woman on the show chugging a glass of wine and chain smoking I think, "that's my mom!!"

Most of the show is less about advertising and more about who Don Draper will sleep with next. He gets jiggy with someone different almost every week, lies to his wife about his past, smokes 2 packs a day and stumbles home drunk after work. I just keep thinking to myself...Oh my gosh, is this what it was like for Darrin Stephens? Did Samantha know? I always knew Larry Tate was a playa.