Thursday, January 12, 2012

People of Walmart...With Sprinkles

I've been to Walmart twice this week and my freak magnet is two for two. The other day I accidentally made eye contact with Adam the Parking Lot Evangelist as I was rolling my purchases out to my car. He started talking to me before he was even close enough for me to hear him and he was still talking ten minutes later after I had chewed my own leg off to get away from him.

Adam should get some kind of award for cramming every cheesy Christian cliche known to man into one ten minute long run-on sentence. He is on fire for the Lord, which is great, but if I didn't already know Jesus he might have sent me running in the other direction. Bless his well-meaning yet really annoying heart.

After my Adam encounter I thought I had filled my freak quota for the week but alas, I was wrong. I had to run back to Walmart tonight to grab a couple of necessities such as a container of cream cheese frosting. I knew I had lingered a bit too long in the baking aisle when the woman next to me started speaking to me despite the 'don't bother me' vibe I was intentionally radiating.

While holding a bottle of red sprinkles in one hand and yellow sprinkles in the other she asked, "Are the Texans' colors more red or blue?" When she said "red" she held up the red sprinkles and when she said "blue" she held up the yellow sprinkles. I just stood there with my mouth hanging open staring at her red and yellow sprinkles, trying to reconcile what she was asking with what I was seeing. When I failed to respond she said she thought they were more blue and she pulled a t-shirt out of her basket that was indeed blue with red and white writing on it.

I have no idea what color the Texans are nor do I even care but I was curious as to how long it would take her to realize that her blue sprinkles were yellow so I told her that I thought their colors were more blue than red. She agreed and she put the yellow sprinkles back on the shelf, tossed the red ones in her cart and rolled away.

People of Walmart, I salute you.

5 comments:

donnaj said...

She was color blind...
and i saw my first real live person of walmart last wk-it was Elvis...

Shannon Green said...

I thought she might have been color blind but she knew the blue shirt was blue. It was just odd. I'm so jealous that you saw Elvis at Walmart. I never see anyone fun like that.

Shasta @ intheoldroad said...

Funny! I would love to sit and 'people watch' at Wal-Mart one day. My W-M reportedly has a 'monkey woman' as a frequent visitor. Some crazy lady brings her monkeys (pets) to the store with her. I always carry my camera with me now :)

SkylersDad said...

I had a happy christian place her hands on Skyler and start to pray for him in a parking lot one day. I guess I had had a bad day or something, because instead of just letting her finish, I took her hand and bent it backwards until she was in obvious discomfort.

Shannon Green said...

Awww man, I wish we had someone cool like a monkey woman! We just have colorblind pseudo sports fans.

Chris, random unasked-for prayer can be a little intrusive no matter how well meaning it might have been. Hopefully she learned her lesson and asked permission the next time!